As parents, we all “hit bumps in the road” when we run out of ideas for how to train our children to do the next new thing. Often there is a motivation challenge before us and it’s hard to come up with yet another creative way to teach something new. Taken to an even harder level: you’re recognizing that there are bad habits that need to be addressed and new skills that need to be taught all at different age and maturity levels. Your home has begun to feel chaotic rather than the restful sanctuary we all want our homes to be. It can be tempting to just want a vacation rather than find a way to play whack-a-mole throughout your home all day long.

It was when I (Katie) found myself in a state like this a few years ago that I decided to pull away for a couple of hours before summer break began and create what we now call the Clark Chip system for our family. Using this system has helped rebuild order, peace and increased the competence of our kids to contribute to the well-being of our family and home life. We’ve brought the system back out a few times when we find ourselves in that same chaotic state again and it has proved to be so helpful in getting us back on track quickly.

How the Chip System Works

In most effective training programs, there is usually both a “stick” (correction/discipline) and a “carrot” involved in the process. This system is primarily the “carrot” portion of our program and the Discipline Jar (also in our online toolbox) is our “stick.”

The chips have become our family currency which means they are used to “purchase” whatever is most important to our children. Often with younger children, money isn’t that useful as a motivator. They may be more interested in privileges, treats, opportunities, time alone with Mom or Dad, special outings, etc. (Although one “purchase” could be to trade a certain number of chips for a set amount of money if that is a motivator in your home.)

Key Components to the Chip System

Help your children understand the difference between consuming and producing and that their consumption or production has a direct effect on the whole family and in particular, their parents’ energy level at the end of the day. If we all work well together, we still have energy at the end of the day to enjoy and play together, too. We tell our kids that if Mom and Dad are having to do the bulk of the work, the kids will need to go to bed early and miss out to allow Mom and Dad to recover.
It is critical to generate strong motivation to willfully comply with diligently working on the new skill, character quality or good habit or breaking the bad habit. Pick things they want to “purchase.” Think of your kids’ love languages – what really means a lot to them? While the motivations should be designed to appeal, they should not be given too easily. Learning to work hard to earn something is vitally important in raising your children to be adults who will one day contribute in their own families, workplaces and communities.

Ensure that kids don’t just get treats and opportunities without being contributing, cooperative members of the family. They shouldn’t be entitled to watching TV, eating desserts, playing with their friends, going on dates with you, etc. if they aren’t doing their part in contributing to the family. This connection needs to be made to develop proper work ethic in our kids. This is how life works. If you work, you get paid. If you don’t, you don’t get paid and you can’t buy the things you want. As the habits are built, you can pull the system out and let things ebb and flow more naturally, but in a period of heavy training, let the chips have the one to one correlations so kids see why they need to work hard.

Steps to Implementing Your Family’s Chip System

1. Take time to brainstorm the habits you want to see your kids break, the skills you want them to develop and the ways you want to see them contribute better to your family life and home environment than is currently happening.
2. Now prioritize that list – picking only a couple of things per child to work on at a time. You can move down the list as they build the habits, but you want to set them up for success, not overwhelm them.
3. Generate a Purchase list of what can be done with the chips, once they are earned.
   Set the Budget. Determine how many chips are earned for each thing they are working on and how much the purchases will each cost.
4. Set the system up in an easy to access place in your home. You’ll need the “chips” (we used poker chips, but lots of things will work), individual “banks” to store the chips (we just found little boxes from the dollar store and put their names on them), and a bulletin board with print outs of expectations, earning values, and purchasing options.
5. Have a family meeting. This is a critical step! You and your spouse need to outline clearly the problems you’re seeing, the solutions you’d like to see (be very clear about what success looks like) and share the opportunities of what they can earn. Be sure to help them see the differences between consuming and producing at appropriate age levels.

For a starter brainstorm list to help you get thinking about what to work on, chores your kids could learn and what “purchasing options” can be on your list, provide your email below to download a FREE copy of our Chip System Sampler.